falling in love

I think we all know that love is a choice. I have heard it, read it, and even experienced it many times throughout this engagement season. Love is not something we are naturally inclined to do, but we do it by the grace of God -- all glory to Him, because He loved us first and demonstrated His love in a way we never could. Love is more than just a feeling... it's an action, it's a belief, and it's the very essence of God Himself. I believe that going into our marriage knowing where our love for each other comes from will make a huge impact in the growth of our relationship.

However, there is certainly a difference in choosing to love and falling in love, because falling in love isn't much of a choice! 

In the midst of all the wedding planning and moving preparation I've had some time to reflect on my relationship with Daniel: the past, present, and exciting new future. As we have begun talking about and writing out our vows for one another, I have had moments where I thought, "Can I remember the moment when I fell in love with Daniel?" I clearly remember the first time he told me he loved me, and the first time I told him back (not on the same occasion, by the way). But do I remember the moment when I really, truly fell in love with the man I am marrying in 16 days? **ONLY 16 DAYS!!** Being a little nostalgic lately, it wasn't hard for me to dig back into that "memories to keep forever" part of my brain, and I'm pretty certain I've pinpointed the exact moment in which I really fell in love with D. Don't get me wrong, it was certainly a process and continues to be, because I find myself falling more in love daily. But I wanted to share this one particular moment where things clicked for me. So here it is.. whoever you are reading out there.

Falling in love with Daniel:

We had been talking/dating for only a few months, and at this point he had already expressed his love for me. His words were honest and true, coming from the depths of his heart, when he first told me. But I wanted to be fully convicted and sure of my love for him before I said the words, and he respected that. We spent our first Christmas as a couple apart from each other, but when we were reunited he was bursting at the seams for me to open my Christmas gift from him. I can still remember everything he gave me that Christmas: a super cute purple scarf, some sweet smelling lotion, a CD with some of our favorite songs, and a poem he wrote for me. I read the poem last... and that's when I knew. And it was around that time that I first told him of my love for him. :) Kee! Read the poem for yourself and see if YOU don't fall in love with him!! (But please don't. He's taken!)

A Summer Night In Haiti, by Walter Daniel Jackson

On rocky road and dusty trail we walked into the night

under the moon and starry sky, and guided by its light.

We walked along, just barely seen, on Haiti's dusty way.

I can't think of a better way to end a summer's day.

The day was hot and summer's heat had shined upon us true.
The day was filled with loving kids, love shown them through and through.
All that was done in Jesus' name and for His Kingdom come;
We know where all that Love for them is ultimately from.

But as we walked, two people there, as missionary guides
we walked and talked and made our way with joy into the night.

The crows were there, and foxes too; we sang of them in song.
I thought of me without you then, and then I sang along.
The Mickey tree we sat beneath gave shade to us and humor;
Not even rain could make us stop or leave there any sooner.

You told me of your dear sisters, you told me of your mom,
you told me as we sat nearby to water deep and calm.

One more thing we did back then I'd like to share in verse;

beginning with our first night out our joys were so diverse.

And though I cannot hardly tell all that we did together,

there's one more thing I'd like to say before I end this letter.

We shared our deepest thoughts of God, our Lord and dearest Friend.

He works all things in perfect good, in ways we don't intend.

Did I know then as we walked near how Haiti's trip would end?

Perhaps I knew in back of mind you'd be my morethanfriend.

With this I'll end my brief account, and rhyming letter, too:

Merry Christmas, my dear, and half-birthday.

Rebecca, I love you.

I know that love is a choice, and that sometimes it's easier than others. But, in the future, if there are times when choosing to love gets hard, I believe I will always be able to come back to this beautifully written poem and fall in love with Mr. Daniel more and more. :)

Daniel,

Thank you for the special words you speak into my life. Can't wait to marry you.

Love always, Bec

GiveThanks 5

As I look back on the work that the Lord has done in my life and His sovereign grace over every moment I've been on this earth, I have nothing but gratitude. Even in reading the Old Testament, the picture of His divine redemption has been on the forefront of His plan since the beginning. It's awesome (yes, awesome) to see it unfold in the Bible through the stories of Abraham, the twelve sons of Jacob, the story of Moses, the story of Ruth, David and his kingdom, Soloman and his wisdom, down through the prophets and all the way to Christ. But it doesn't end there! Then God graciously uses US as part of this plan... and I am so thankful to look back and see the ways that God has used little ole me in this Big Picture. I am humbled. I am thankful.

In these past 3.5 years of college the Lord has used many experiences to shape and mold my spiritual life into what it is today. One of the main ways He's done that is through missions. He's given me so many opportunities to serve overseas in my college career, and I encourage anyone who is hearing the call to Go... ANSWER it! :) It's SO worth it and it will change your life forever. If you are seeking guidance concerning missions, check out this website: TheTask

Here are a few of the places the Lord has brought me over the past few years:

Attempted group picture, SB2009 -- San Antonio, Texas

Ministry of the Word, Summer 2009 -- Recuay, Peru

Displaying God's love through actions, Summer 2009 -- Passe Catabois, Haiti

Rebuilding Hope, SB2010 -- Nueva Rosita, Mexico

"Pure and undefiled religion... to care for the orphans and widows in their distress..."

HopeForTomorrow Children's Home

LOVE these children with all my heart

Summer 2010

Guatemala City, Guatemala

Capesino de Niños... complete sovereignty of God, Summer 2011 -- Quito, Ecuador

Thank You, Father, for the opportunities to serve You and further Your kingdom in the nations. Please continue to call workers into Your harvest fields. So thankful for your sovereignty over the nations... help us to love like You love.

#GiveThanks

tratando de entender

El corazón del hombre traza su rumbo, pero sus pasos los dirige el Señor.
- Proverbios 16:9

brrr

My ever-cold feet will be the first to testify that winter is here. This weekend a wintery storm blew through the south, canceling classes on Friday and CEC this weekend. I was pretty bummed about the news (specifically the cancelled CEC), but in exchange I spent a nice, warm, super-relaxing weekend with my sweet friend Hayley Hollier. :)

Last night we watched the movie "End of the Spear," followed by the documentary "Beyond the Gates of Splendor," films about the five missionaries that were killed while bringing the Gospel to the Auca tribe in central Ecuador. For those of you who don't know the story: not long later, some of the wives and sisters of the martyred men returned, still with hope that God would save the Aucas. He did. The Gospel changed the lives of the Auca tribe, giving them a reason to live. The Gospel is what the Aucas needed. The Gospel is what so many people still need today.

According to the Joshua Project, there are 6,781 unreached people groups in the world, which is 41.5% of the world's population. I realized as I watched these films that my heart has become cold to the unreached people groups of the world. Sure, I am praying that the Lord would send workers into the harvest fields, but I am often not considering myself as being one of the people He would send. I am thankful that God used the story of these 5 men and their wives to teach me what "beautiful feet" really look like. I am thankful for their sacrifice for the sake of the Gospel.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." -Jim Elliot

Father, please forgive me for my cold heart for the unreached people groups of the world. Lord, I pray that You would send workers out into the harvest field, and that You would reveal Yourself to the people in the world that so desperately need You. Father I thank You for Your Gospel. Please help it to be ever present on my mind and heart, and help me to share it with the people I am around. I praise You for salvation by grace through faith in Christ Jesus.

home?

My last week in Guate was SO much fun. Spent a lot of time with the team working in the dental clinic, and also visited more with my sweet friend Amanda. It was a great week. What a beautiful team the Lord put together: and we know it was all orchestrated by His hand, since it was planned so late, but all the little details worked out so perfectly. We worked on so many teeth that week, but we also spent lots of time and poured out our love into the children. I was so glad that my mommy and boyfriend were able to meet the kids that I love with all my heart. Thank You, Father, for You are SO good. Here's a pic of the team (minus Ms. Bonnie... she took the picture) in front of the home:

I also spent a lot of my last week with my sweet, beautiful, chapina friend, Diana. I was so blessed to have her as mi amiguita mejor for the 7 weeks I spent there. What an amazing, godly woman she is... I love her and miss her so much. I miss our late nights, our English/Spanish conversations, our "girls date!," and just spending time together. I am thankful for Diana, and I know the Lord has truly knit our hearts together. I look forward to seeing her again in the future. :)

It's been exactly 3 weeks since I have returned from Guatemala, and I can hardly believe how fast it's gone by. My heart is slowly adjusting, but not a day passes that I don't think of and miss my eight Guatemalan sweeties thousands of miles away from me. I know it's not my time to go and stay now... but I still miss them and wish we could be together. Words cannot express how grateful I am to have had this opportunity to GO and live the Gospel with 8 orphaned children that so easily stole my heart. And although I'm hurting that we are apart, I know it's well worth it. I pray that the Lord would unite my path with theirs again. I love those children dearly; I only wish I could say it with words.

I miss...

tutoring and taking walks with Miguel,

singing and practicing English with Amelia

being patient and receiving NUMEROUS hugs from Edwin

playing dolls and doing hand-clapy-games with Lidia

having Carlitos sit in my lap and put together puzzles

holding and loving-on Juan José

listening to Luis Fernando say my name as I throw him in the air

walking around with baby Moises as he smiles with his 4 teeth

these children truly have my heart.

Lord, I pray now for Miguel, Amelia, Edwin, Lidia, Carlos, Juan José, Luis Fernando, and Moises. I thank You for the way I have already seen You at work in their lives: the way You've already redeemed their physical lives. But Lord, I pray that You would please redeem their soul. I pray that in Your time, You would reveal Yourself to these 8 beautiful children, and that they would know You and Your Son. I ask that You would please bless them now... watch over and protect these sweet little ones. Keep evil far from them, oh Lord, and let Your kingdom come and Your will be done in their lives. I pray that You will show them love like they've never known, and that You'd receive all the glory from it. I praise You for being the Father over us all... even the fatherless. You are so good. Thank You for bringing these 8 children into my life and using them to show me Your love and compassion. I thank You for Your mercy in their lives, and I pray for other orphans around the world that may not be in the same situation as the children at HFT. Oh Father, I know that You are sovereign. I pray for peace and comfort for all the fatherless tonight... that they would know You as their Father. Redeem their lives and souls, oh Lord. May all peoples praise You, Oh God.

in Christ's name... amen.

for mami, aquí, mañana

My mommy is coming in town tomorrow, and I am SO excited! :)

I moved out of Casa Katherina today, and I have spent the day with Diana, my wonderful friend. It's been so nice. Preparing for a very busy week ahead, it was nice to spend some time relaxing. I also spent some time this morning with the babies and Edwin... fun time for sure. So now I am about to go to bed, and I cannot wait to see my mommy tomorrow!

Ok, time to get ready for bed. Thank You, Lord, for Your GOODNESS. :)

already?

Today was my last "normal" day with the children.

We had such a nice day hanging out today. I am thankful that today was a national holiday ("The Day of Rest"), and the children didn't have school or homework. So we spent all of our time together playing. I played dolls (muñecas) with Lidia, Juan José brushed my hair until I thought it was going to all fall out, Luis Fernando used me as a jungle gym every moment he had the chance, we watched a movie, and just spent sweet time together relaxing and enjoying each other's company. It was so special, but I can't believe that today was my last full day spent with the children I love so much.

Tomorrow before lunch Kenneth and Diana are coming to pick me up. We are going to move out of Casa Katherina, grab some lunch, and then Diana and I are going on a GIRLS DATE! :) I am very excited to spend some time with this sweet new friend that I love SO much. I know that the Lord has used this friendship for the good of us both, and for that I am so thankful. I continue to pray for healing in her sweet heart, and look forward to the day when she convinces Kenneth to bring her to New Orleans. hehe.

I am staying with Kenneth and Diana tomorrow night, and then...

MOMMY IS HERE!! :)

I can hardly wait! I know that the Lord has some cool things in store for the end of this trip, and I look forward to being a part of His work WITH my sweet mommy. Also, I cannot wait to see the kids faces when they meet my mom. I know they are going to say, "se parecen iguales!" :) It's going to be a great week!

Well, tonight I am off to finish packing a snooze. Looking forward to a special day tomorrow, and then a fun-filled, busy week ahead. ALSO, excited about the possibility of seeing my sweet friend Beka soon!

feliz noches

the mini-calendar is coming down!

the mini-calendar...

When I was leaving for Guatemala, my mom packed in my bag many letters. The first one had pages from a mini-calendar for the months of May, June, and July, with a specially marked day on the 21st. (like I would forget it was my birthday or something... lol). BUT, when I made it to Guatemala, I taped the calendar to the back of my headboard and have been marking off each day as it comes and goes. And I can't hardly believe it, but I only have 1 more day in the month of June, and then I move out of Casa Katherina. :) Here's a pic of my headboard that was taken at the beginning of June, and then one that I just took tonight. *I had to hold back the corners of the June page because they are rolling in... lol.

Today has been a great day! I went to the home this morning, then my friend Amanda came by, and we spent some time with the younger children during the morning time. We came back to Casa Kat at 12:30 for a yummy tostada lunch and watched Spain beat Portugal while we ate. It was so great spending time with her today! We went back to the home around 2:30, helped the kids with their homework, played, and left the home right before 5:30. We went to tacontento to eat a delicious dinner, and then she treated me to gelato for dessert. (really suffering over here... lol). It was seriously a great time spent with my new sweet friend. :) I am thankful for our friendship, and I know it has been God-ordained. Thank You, Lord, for Amanda Joy.

So, I know that was a quick update, but I hope you enjoyed. Now I am going to do a little packing and get ready for bed. I can truly hardly believe that packing is beginning. Mommy will be here in less than 3 days, and I can hardly wait! :) I am also looking forward to spending more time with my beautiful friend Diana later this week! She's such a blessing to me, and I just love her so so so much.

Just 10 more days. I am praying that the Lord would lead me by His Spirit, that I would make the most of the time He's given me here. I am continually grateful to be a part of this ministry. Thank you, Lord.

more updates to come... stay tuned! hehe :)

joyFULL week

Hello, blogging world! :) After a fun-filled birthday week, I am back to the "normal routine" and blogging again. I want to share with you all the blessings the Lord has poured out on me this week. I am SO thankful for His blessings, and I recognize that all good things come from Him. Here's how the week was:

Firstly, started off Monday with my 20th birthday. When I arrived at the home, the children were waiting for me at the door with many hugs and "happy birthday!" (in english). After lunch, Diana and Kenneth came by the home with a piñata and cake, which the children were SO excited about! We had a great time celebrating (my first piñata was pretty rough, but I'll blame it on the 20 spins... lol). Afterwards, I went to eat with Diana and Kenneth for my birthday, and we got some coffee for dessert... it was such a blessed birthday. **And for the record, I DO have a video of my Spanish birthday song, Annie and Mary... it's just too long to upload. hehe

On Tuesday things were pretty standard. Went to the home in the morning and worked with Miguel as he prepared for his big exams. Then, around 11, my sweet missionary friend Amanda from South Carolina came over to visit with us for the day. It was very nice having another english speaker with me, and the children immediately fell in love with her! We went out on a limb and internet-ordered McDonald's for lunch (which was SUPER fun... lol), and spent the afternoon with the kids. Diana came and picked me up later that evening to stay the night at their house. Tuesday was a very nice day!

On Wednesday morning we woke up and headed on the 2.5 hour drive to Panajachel. Kenneth had to meet with some pastors out there for a team that's coming in the end of July, and he invited me to go with them! We arrived around lunch, and I'm not sure if my eyes have beheld such beauty! Lake Atitlán, with the most blue water I've seen, surrounded by volcanoes and beautiful clear sky... ah! The Heavens really do declare the glory of God, and the sky (and ALL creation) proclaims His handiwork. After visiting Pana and meeting with a pastor, we took a boat across the lake to Santiago Atitlán, a small little town on the other side of the lake. We stayed the night in a bungalow there, and met with another pastor on Thursday morning.

The pastor took us around on Thursday after the meeting, so Kenneth could see where the team would be working. We went to a smaller village outside the town and visited a home that the team will be rebuilding. I've been to Haiti, Peru, Mexico, and I have seen poverty... but it never gets easier to see. Visiting this home reminded me again of the comfort that I am surrounded by... the comfort that I am used to. It also reminded me of my state of depravity before the Lord came to rescue me. So I pray that this family would recognize the Lord's work while the team is building them a home, and that the Lord would receive all the glory due His name. Also, a noteworthy part of our visit with this family is that they are all Mayan... none of them spoke Spanish, but rather an obscure Mayan dialect called K'iche'. So, I was literally only communicating through gestures. And I once again discovered that a smile and a piece of candy are universal signs of love for children. :)

We made it back to the city late Thursday night and woke up early Friday morning to take the children to the water park... and we had SO MUCH FUN! It was a long day, to say the least, but the weather was perfect for the outing, and the children had a blast. We swam, cooked lunch, and then looked through the small zoo. Finally making it back at 5pm, I was POOPED OUT! However, when Amanda called me that evening, I didn't hesitate in the least to agree to go to dinner with her and Jessi and Roblans. :) We had a nice time visiting and eating, and then I stayed the night with her that evening.

Saturday morning Amanda and I woke up and got ready for our day of "freedom." hehe- we took the car, picked up Stephen in Zone 18, almost wrecked heading back to the children's home, and then went to the mall for lunch. It was SUCH a fun day, although a little dangerous with 3 20-year-olds driving the streets of Guatemala, and although we all just met, I felt like I was with some of my best friends. It's amazing the ways that being in the Lord's will connects people. :) Although saddened that day by the loss of our country in the world cup, we were grateful for time spent together and to get OUT. :) However, I will say that unless it's an emergency and I absolutely HAVE to, I will not drive in Guatemala City. lol.

Saturday night I stayed the night with Claudia and Nathan, Diana's sister and brother-in-law. It was nice being with such a beautiful Christian family, and I was blessed to see a real-life missionary family in action. :) They are such sweet people. Sunday morning we went to Nathan's dad's church (who is an IMB missionary here in Guate), and spent the afternoon at their home. What a blessed Sabbath day it was! I came back here, talked briefly with mommy and Daniel, and crashed.

And... that brings me to today! Today has been the first day of the trip that I've done NOTHING. I woke up and got ready, spent some time reading, ate some breakfast, watched Brasil win their game, ate some lunch, and it was STILL pouring down rain. So I decided just to rest for the day and start again tomorrow. It's been a nice day to catch up a little.

(and since I brought up the world cup, I will say that it's SUPER fun watching this tournament in a central american country. I've never heard the word "GOOOOOOOAAAALLLLL" said so often, and I'm enjoying the chances I get to watch some of the matches. Also: VAMOS BRASIL A GANAR!! :)

I can hardly believe I have only 3 more nights in this room... 3 more full days with the children, and only 4 days until my sweet Mommy is here! While I am excited that this part of the trip is nearing, I am also sad, because that means the trip is coming to a close. Being a part of this ministry has been SUCH a blessing, and I'm so thankful to God that I've had the opportunity to work with these children. I look forward to spending these next few days with them, pouring out every ounce of love the Lord has given me. Please continue to pray for them. :)

I will try to update pretty regularly for the remaining time I have here. Thanks for reading.

¡Dios le bendiga!

eh..

These past few days have been interesting/difficult. It's about mid-trip... officially the longest I've been out of the country. :) While this is an exciting thing, it also is a hard part. Last week was SO blessed having the team here, spending time with Diana, and being VERY busy with things to do. But this week is back to "normal," and I'm here by myself again. I do have a lot of translating work to do for Kenneth, but I still miss having some people here with me. Don't get me wrong... I love spending time at the home with the mamas and kiddos, but I guess the transition is just getting me a little. I pray that the Lord would use this time for His glory, and that He would teach me to be dependent on HIM alone.

I miss my friends and family! I am SOOO thankful for skype, and I've been able to keep in touch with them that way. But there's nothing like a hug from the people I love so much! :) I am excited to announce that my mom WILL be meeting me for the last week I am here to do dental work on the children! :) YAY!!! She's bringing an assistant, Ms. Bonnie, with her, and also a friend (that's close to my age), Erica, will be coming! I can hardly wait! But, until then, I will continue to miss and send my love to all you sweet people in my life that love and support me. Yall are the best! :)

Like I said, I miss my mommy. Can't wait until July 2!!

I am still, and always, missing my Peru friends. Being in Guate really reminds me of times in Peru. What a wonderful trip that was! I can't believe it's been well over a year since we were there! I still relate tuna fish sandwiches with Peru. And playing phase 10. :) Love you guys so much!!

Also, I really miss my sweet Jess and lovely Christin. :) They have taught me so much and encouraged me in ways they may never realize. Thanks, you guys! I love you both dearly!!

Of course, I always miss my little sisters. I look forward to seeing them so I can update a picture of all 4 of us! lol. xoxoxo to you three! Pass them on to Daddy and JanJan, too! :)

Spending much time praying for this sweet girl, but I still miss her SOO much! Even though we are halfway around the world from each other, as she is in Niger, I know that the Lord is still using this time to knit our hearts together. What a special friend Hayley is to me! :) miss you!!!

Another friend I am missing is little Normie. :) I miss our random spats/deep conversations. He's been such a good friend to me, and I am thankful for his encouragement!

I cannot post an update without including something about my WONDERFUL sister-friends, Annie and Mary. They know how much I love them. :) Hope you guys are having a wonderful summer. Can't wait to see you guys and eat mexican mess SOON!

And, of course... I REALLY miss Mr. Walter Daniel Jackson. :) tqm!!

That's all for now. :)

wrapping up a great week!

Week 3 at Hope For Tomorrow has been phenomenal! It was a busy week, full of activities, but it has been such a blessed time! I can actually hardly believe I’ve been here for three weeks! I know week 4 is going to be very different, because the team will not be with us; but, I pray that it will be just as blessed as this past week. I pray for more opportunities this week to talk about the Lord.

This week we celebrated the first birthday of sweet baby Moises. Oh, what a precious little baby he is! Here’s a little bit of Moises’ story: he was left on the “side of the road” when he was only days, possibly even hours, old. From what I’ve heard, it sounds like he was sort of “tucked away,” with chances rare that someone would find him. However, he was rescued and brought to a hospital, and not long after he was passed on to Hope For Tomorrow, his new home. He didn’t have a name, so he was named Moises, which translates to Moses in English. And what a perfect name for such a sweet child! Dropped off without much hope. Seemed destined to die. But then rescued and brought into a life full of opportunities. WOW! It’s impossible to not see the Lord’s hand already in the life of this child. It’s my prayer that the Lord would continue to grow baby Moi in His grace, and that he may be a leader for the Lord, just like the man after whom he was named. Here are a few pictures of his first birthday:

Today (Saturday), we had a nice outing with the children. We went to Pollo Campero, the HUGE chicken food-chain here in Guatemala. Their specialty is fried chicken, french-fries, and doughnuts. MMM… part of a nutritious meal, right?! lol. After a nice time out-on-the-town, we came back to the home. Some of the children helped wash the van, and others played on the brand new sensory table that the team built this week. We did a few arts and crafts, too! Here are some pictures from this afternoon:

After a week of service and nice time together, the team said their goodbyes and left. It was such a blessing to have them here! I thank the Lord for those godly men and ask for their safe return home. I played with the children for about an hour more before heading back to my living quarters. For dinner tonight, I made some mac and cheese with canned chicken… it was QUITE a chore! After finally finding a flame with which to light the gas stove, I had to open my canned chicken with fingernail clippers and a butter knife. Haha! I have never before realized my gratitude for a can opener! But it made me all the more thankful for my dinner tonight. The Lord does always provide, even if it’s in ways I wouldn’t expect.

I am really looking forward to tomorrow. It will be my first Sunday with the children. I hope to have a little service with them in the morning and then, weather permitting, go on a afternoon walk. Megan is coming in the later afternoon, and I’m excited about that!

I fall more and more in love with these children every day! Please continue to pray for them, that the Lord would reveal Himself to them.

“I thank You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was Your gracious will.” –Luke 10:21

More updatage to follow. Happy Sunday! Please leave me a comment if you read this… it brings me great joy to know who is reading my blog!